Second Chances and Regrets: Carrie Bradshaw’s Mistake with Mr. Big in ‘And Just Like That’

Questioning the complex past, pivotal choices, and the lingering regrets in this reflective analysis.

** Spoiler Alert | S02E08 ***

After S02E07, this week was definitely difficult to sit through while watching ‘And Just Like That.’ I had considered giving up on watching the HBO Max show, but I challenged myself to write about it in a Medium blog. Surprisingly, I found myself enjoying the questions posed to Carrie about her rapidly evolving relationship with Aidan, especially the comments from Seema. Also, the absence of coming-of-age drama or Gen-Z-related storylines made S02E08 feel like a moment closest to the original ‘Sex and the City,’ classic and timeless. Let’s delve into Carrie Bradshaw and Aidan’s reunion, Miranda’s internship, Seema’s bold stance in refusing to be the third wheel, and Charlotte’s ongoing struggles with the roles of a housewife and mother.

Transitioning from a Law Firm Partnership to an NGO Internship

In S02E08, we finally witness Miranda returning to her career-driven self. After leaving her job at the law firm, she began studying human rights and embarked on an internship with an NGO working in that field. Setting aside the unexpected takeover of the department head position during her maternity leave, I’m hopeful that we’ll see more political debates surrounding issues like U.S. immigration and minority policies. Instead, the episode focused on Miranda’s insecurities among her fellow interns.

I couldn’t help but wonder: What happened to the eager, determined, and confident Miranda we knew? It was quite amusing when the other interns accused her of having privileges. Excuse me? I assume the producers selected the pep talk delivered by the department head to remind marginalized individuals, including successful women, LGBTQ individuals, and migrants, that their professional achievements are earned, not handed to them.

Charlotte’s Return to the Art World as a Gallerina

Speaking of privileges, Charlotte immediately comes to mind. #SorryNotSorry for drawing a parallel here. Fans of ‘Sex and the City’ might recall the times when Carrie struggled financially to maintain her apartment after her breakup with Aidan. She turned to Charlotte for financial support, even as Charlotte paraded around with her wedding ring from her divorced husband and enjoyed her lavishly decorated apartment featured in a magazine. This exemplifies white privilege.

Furthermore, Charlotte’s privilege persists, not just due to her marriage to a wealthy lawyer, but also in her concern over her appearance when returning to work after years. Her focus on finding the “perfect suit” instead of keeping up with the art market’s trends highlights her privileged position as a gallerina. As a single woman who relies on work to cover her expenses, I’ve questioned women who choose to work as a hobby. #SorryNotSorry again, but they always had the option to step back whenever they grew tired or bored, whereas I had no choice but to endure a toxic work environment to make ends meet. #BasedOnATrueStory

Charlotte’s disappointment when explaining to her children that her work would keep her busy was quite triggering. If she wants to sacrifice her life for her kids, that’s her choice. But she shouldn’t burden the gallery with her “me, I, myself, and my family” drama. One of feminism’s unspoken truths is how workplaces prioritize mothers over single, childless women. I hope a Gen-Z gallerina in ‘And Just Like That’ will eventually address this issue.

Seema’s Stand Against Being the Third Wheel

Ever since Seema joined ‘And Just Like That,’ she seemed poised to fill Samantha’s shoes. Her storyline began with online dating apps in the first season and continued with her sexual escapades, ultimately leading to her role as the fourth member at the table in S02E08. Everyone is replaceable, but I’m unsure if Samantha would react to Carrie’s relationship with Aidan the way Seema did — frustrated at the idea of losing her single woman companion for a summer in the Hamptons.

Although the producers attempted to portray Seema as an independent single woman during her confrontation with Carrie, her explanations still felt inadequate. What does “Carrie, you lived two big loves…” even mean? Her main argument was her objection to being the third wheel, a term used for a single person accompanying a couple. I understand that feeling all too well. I’ve also sworn off vacationing with couples after experiencing it firsthand. However, this feeling doesn’t solely depend on one’s single status; it’s about how the couple treats the third person. If the couple includes the single individual in their conversations and activities, it’s usually fine. Seema had this conversation before even meeting Aidan, which made it seem like she was upset about losing her single buddy rather than anything substantial about the relationship. Her behavior came across as attention-seeking.

Carrie’s Confusion: Was Mr. Big a Mistake?

Indeed, watching Carrie and Aidan together made me wonder if Seema had a point about being the third wheel. Am I the only one who found Carrie and Aidan’s interactions grating and immature? Allow me to explain why.

One of my favorite pastimes in public spaces is observing people on their first dates. In Berlin, you’ll often come across couples trying to converse at cafes or parks. Based on their body language, I enjoy imagining stories for them — what they’re laughing about or why they fall into moments of silence. This activity is especially entertaining when it comes to couples I know personally. I wonder what they discuss when it’s just the two of them. The same thoughts apply to Carrie and Aidan. Apart from updating each other about their lives, what else do they have to talk about? This dynamic was evident even during the original ‘Sex and the City’ series. For instance, one prefers a rural lifestyle while the other indulges in luxury. Beyond the idealized notion of “love,” what truly binds them?

Perhaps Che was the only one who shared my curiosity, posing the crucial question to Carrie and Aidan: “Why didn’t it work out the first time?” I certainly didn’t expect Carrie to admit her mistake, and she didn’t. Even though she had asked Miranda earlier in the episode whether Mr. Big was a mistake, the intended message became confusing. If I were Miranda, I wouldn’t have stayed silent. I would’ve exclaimed, “Absolutely!” You never shut the door on Mr. Big, not even after Aidan forgave you for cheating. Mr. Big even visited Aidan’s country house, got drunk, cried over Natasha, and incited a physical altercation.

Carrie Bradshaw’s Transformation from a Daring New Yorker to a Comfort Seeker

Although I could delve into Mr. Big’s toxic masculinity, I find Carrie’s relationship with him believable. He kept his distance in relationships, involving Carrie only when it suited him. Meanwhile, Carrie enjoyed brunch with her friends, shopped, attended charity events, and pursued her hobbies, such as reading and writing. This pattern resembles many heterosexual relationships we see around us. Similar to the couples I observe, I can easily envision their domestic life — sharing dinner and conversation. Carrie dominates the conversation, discussing her friends and events, while Mr. Big interjects when he deems it necessary. They watch movies together when there’s no event on their calendar, enjoy leisurely breakfasts accompanied by background music, make travel plans, and occasionally host friends.

Someone might argue, “What more do you expect from a relationship?” My response would be: A deeper intellectual connection.

Hence, I struggle to comprehend or accept Carrie’s relationship with Aidan, or vice versa. Even if we assume Carrie has transformed and abandoned her luxurious lifestyle established with Mr. Big, what about Aidan? He’s building a life in Virginia with his ex-wife and three sons. What more could he expect from Carrie? At this point, only a revenge narrative seems plausible. #PleaseNO

I recently read a Guardian article questioning why ‘And Just Like That’ is so disappointing. Among the author’s cited tweets, one stood out to me, encapsulating why I continue the challenge of weekly blogging despite the season’s shortcomings.